Claustrophobia

Response to my yesterday’s Post Question number

[Twenty-Seven]

What is your greatest Fear?

- Claustrophobia, Be locked in a room with no way out, or no scape.

What is it? Is it a decease or just sort of behavioral disorder?

According to WIKIPEDIA:

Claustrophobia (from Latin claustrum "a shut in place" and Greek φόβος, phóbos, "fear") is the fear of having no escape and being closed in (opposite: claustrophilia). It is typically classified as an anxiety disorder and often results in panic attack, and can be the result of many situations or stimuli, including elevators crowded to capacity, windowless rooms, and even tight-necked clothing. The onset of claustrophobia has been attributed to many factors, including a reduction in the size of the amygdala, classical conditioning, or a genetic predisposition to fear small spaces.

And according to http://www.pe2000.com/pho-claustro.htm:

Claustrophobia is usually described as a fear of enclosed places. A more accurate description might be 'a fear of not having an easy escape route' because for anyone who experiences this phobia this is the predominating feature - you feel a need to be able to get out or get home, quickly.

I had this phobia ever since I was a child, I am so afraid of going inside the elevator alone, and up to now, I am still,   I remember the first time I went to PBCom Tower in Makati and applied in one of the offices there, I am afraid to get inside the elevator alone, I still have to wait for somebody to take that elevator before I will get in, I remember I would pretend that I am sending a text message to somebody so that no one would notice the I am not taking that elevator because I am alone.

I am also afraid of any close door room or windowless, as I enter a building, the first thing I notice or look for is the exit door, without that in my sight, I am already terrified.

I tell you how it’s like to have this kind of phobia, every time I am in this situation, it seems like that I can’t breathe,   I can’t move, I can’t think, I am nervous, worried, tense, I feel uneasy, I couldn’t calm down.

If I am not mistaken, I got this phobia when I was still a child, I was playing hide and seek with my two brothers in our backyard, when a group of children went to our gate and watched us playing, there is nothing wrong with it, we always welcome them to join us, but that day, there’s these two boy who tease us, telling us “hoy bata, suntukan tayo” I got mad and immediately closed the gate, then after that I heard somebody cried, so I open the gate again and I saw that little girl crying while holding her thumb, it’s bleeding, I heard someone said “hala ka… lagot… naipit ang kamay niya….” Natanggalan ng kuko, so that’s it, I was frighten, of course I would, because I was still a child, I was about 7-8 years old then, to make the story even more complicated, the father of that little girl is the craziest guy in our neighborhood, he was always drunk every night, and every time he is drunk he always had troubles, madalas nakikipag away siya, at kapag nakikipag away na, expect mo na kukuha na yan ng itak at makikipag tagaan sa kainuman, hindi ko na alam kung ilan na ang nakasagupa niya at ilang beses na siyang nakulong,  so ayun, kapag nakainom na siya at nagwawala na, magaaway narin sila ng asawa niya, at madalas, sinasabi ng asawa niya na “tumigil kana sa pagwawala dyan, kahit yung anak mo, muntik ng maputol ang kamay dahil inipt ng gate at umuwi ng umiiyak, wala karing ginawa” so ayun na naman ulit, magaaway na naman sila ng asawa niya, hindi lang kasi siya makalapit sa akin noon, kasi takot sila sa Papa ko at sa mga uncle ko, and as a child, kapag nagwawala na ang hinayupak na yun, takot ako parati, I want to escape, I remember, I will stay in our school until 6pm, I will wait for my father to be home, because I am afraid, I remember I couldn’t sleep well at night because I can hear his voice shouting outside and looking for someone who would fight him, and somebody would tell him to go to our house and look for me, imagine I was only 7-8 years old that time.

Every time my father left for work, I always had this planned of escaping, I am afraid that he might do something wrong to me when my father is out, eeeiiiiii!!! Good thing my lola is always there for me, and almost all of my uncles are always around, they never left 

me alone in the house.

But it was just my conclusion, I really don’t know how I got this phobia, basta takot lang talaga ako sa mga sarado at masisikip na lugar, kahit gaano pa ito kaganda, basta alam kong nakakulong ako… sigurado.. kinakabahan na ako.

I don’t know what to do with this… but somehow… through research I manage to resolve my problem… when I was still in Manila, with full courage in my heart, I tried to take the elevator alone, yeah!!!! GOD ALLAH knows how frighten I am, pero… I manage to survive… that time.. akala ko mamamatay na ako sa takot… but when I get out alive… yeahhhhh…. Sinubukan ko ulit..

Facing your fear is not easy… but the only way to survive in this so called life is to fight, kaya you have to fight and conquer your feel.

Yeah… pero kahit ano pa man yan… takot parin ako.. until now… ehehehehe…

Yun lang…

D”N