In the deepest soul of my heart,
is a burden I long to confess,
I was so immature to blamed the circumstances
and blinded to realized that through the years
nothing has seems to change with me.
I am still and always will
in denial and proclaiming myself
as a happy man,
but the truth is I am still a prisoner of the past
So scared to move on and terrified to go along,
I have been like this for quite some times,
forcing myself to believe that I am already a freeman,
free from sorrows and hatreds,
but somehow I was wrong.
I was claiming that the glory is mined
and that the victory must be celebrated,
I was boastful and arrogant to speak out loud
that I am indeed a happy man already and at last.
but then I found myself again
sitting in the corner longing for her kisses and love,
her warmed smell and eyes,
her looks, her presence and sense of humors,
she’s just irresistible and hard to forget.
Many times I have tried to fought this feeling,
but yet I am still weak,
weak as a newly born child,
there is nothing I can do but to give up,
let her win is all that I see and knew,
and again she would laugh,
she’ll walks away and never come back,
damn I am crying again.
“AL!!!! Ala Sais na… gising kana…malate kana… alarm clock mo, tumitilaok na naman.”
Then I realized….
F**k I am dreaming again.
I could write a hundred of this or perhaps thousands,
for once in a while I am still dreaming about her,
promise I have moved on
and have forgiven myself for loving her too much,
but still I am drowning in her love
every time I met her in my dreams,
I just wanna be free,
“I REMEMBER THE GIRL (BUT I DON'T REMEMBER THE FEELING ANYMORE)”
That’s all for me now. Thanks you..